There's this old Portlandia skit in which Fred and Carrie are at a restaurant and are asking the waitress a million questions about how the chicken (that they're about to eat) was raised. In what turns out to be a ridiculous scene, the waitress has all the patience in the world for this endless barrage of questions, replying with actual earnestness and as much information as possible about said chicken. The chicken's name is Collin and he came from a farm about 30 miles south of Portland...at which point Fred and Carrie decide to take a quick drive on over to the farm to make sure they raised Collin humanely. The waitress holds their table for them.
Obviously, this skit goes to show how ridiculous we can be when we scrutinize what we consume and it can have a slot in a comedic context...but what happens when the shoe is on the other foot? Would it still be funny if the waitress flipped it on 'em and started asking them if they were worthy of buying the chicken?
So...I guess...this is where I tell you that this skit is the first thing I thought of when I saw this ridiculous list of conditions given by Nike in regards to the 'restock' AJ4 SB: "Rather than hosting a traditional re-release, Nike has shared that the restock is designed to “reward our loyal SB members who we feel will be most inclined to actually skate in the shoes.” To accomplish this, only Nike accounts that meet two criteria points will be allowed to enter. First, the user must have lost the drawing for the sneaker during its initial drop on March 21. In addition to this, the entrant must have purchased Nike SB footwear within the last year across the Nike digital ecosystem. Here’s the catch: Nike SB Dunks are not included as eligible footwear to qualify. Knowing the mass appeal of the SB Dunk silhouette, the Swoosh has done its best to distinguish and cater to the true skate enthusiasts."
I mean...call me whatever you want to call me...but when you've got the worlds most popular clothing company in the world scrutinizing their loyal and RABID customers - all for the CHANCE to buy a pair of shoes - I can't help but feel we are all subjugated to this sadistic entity...